


Dark to Light

by WritingStuff



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eating Disorders, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Past Child Abuse, Rating May Change, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 05:47:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14372226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingStuff/pseuds/WritingStuff
Summary: Yuri is dealing with the stress of his past and Yuuri is just trying to keep his problems a secret and appear perfectly stable.  What happens when Yuri finds out Yuuri's deepest secret?  And how does Victor end up fitting in?





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> Yuri/Yurio=Yuri Plisetsky  
> Yuuri=Yuuri Katsuki  
> .............................................
> 
> This chapter is pretty short as its mostly just an introduction to the story.

Yuri Plisetsky is a 16 year old boy who had grown up in a living hell. He doesn’t remember much, as he had been very young, but enough remains to haunt him day and night. Before his grandfather intervened when he was 7 years old he was subjected to almost daily beatings from his father and emotional abuse from his mother whenever he was even in her line of sight. His grandfather was eventually able to gain custody of him, and that’s when he started ice skating. Skating helped him forget, and helped him feel like he was worth something, like he could do something right and make his grandfather proud. But he didn’t know how to make friends, he didn’t know how to trust people, and he didn’t know how to love anyone aside from maybe his grandfather. 

Anytime someone had tried to get close he had lashed out and said terrible things that mostly weren’t true just to keep people from trying to get close. He almost always felt terrible for doing this afterwards but would resolve himself by the reminder that he couldn’t trust anyone and all people did was hurt you, and that once Yuri was in their life they would realize what a burden he is anyway.  
XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Yuuri Katsuki is a 24 year old male who, despite having a decent childhood, has grown up with crippling anxiety and depression and due to bullying as a child has developed some very bad eating habits. He often would binge when he felt he did something wrong, which would then make him feel even worse and would result in him forcing himself to throw it all up until all that was left was acid burning his throat. He knew that this was unhealthy and was the wrong way to deal with things, but he couldn’t stop. It made him feel in control, it made him feel better to the point that he would throw up whenever he started feeling bad, not just after a binge. He never intended for anyone to find out about his little problem, he planned to keep it a secret for the rest of his life, not even telling his closest friend, Phichit. But of course things don’t always go the way you want and everything changed when a particular Ice Tiger of Russia heard him crying in the bathroom after completely failing at the Grand Prix Finals and caught him on his knees bent over the toilet with tears streaming down his face and his fingers shoved down his throat. 

XxxxxxxxX

Yuri was making his way down the hallway grumbling about Victor winning another gold medal and silently cursing that overly self-confident old man and then swearing to himself to show him who was best in the near future. As he was walking he heard soft sounds of sobs coming from the men’s bathroom and even though he knew he shouldn’t he couldn’t help but go inside to see who it was. He heard soft mutters of “not good enough” and “fucking stupid” and figured out two things. One, the person in the stall was mumbling to themselves and two, that person was Yuuri Katsuki of Japan who had just completely failed his performance. 

He found himself feeling angry for really no reason, at least not that his irrational brain could come up with, and before he could stop himself he was kicking the door down and spewing all kinds of nonsense about how Yuuri should quit skating and that the skating community only needed one ‘Yuri’ and that was himself. But, he stopped himself abruptly when he noticed the other man was kneeling on the floor with his fingers just being retracted from his throat and was scrambling to flush the toilet and make it look like nothing was happening. 

Yuri was speechless, he had no idea what to do now. He was frozen in place with his mouth hanging open and looking like a complete idiot. When Yuuri began to messily rise to his feet and open his mouth to speak, Yuri bolted. He freaked out and ran. He had never dealt with another person’s problems! He had enough of his own! Even though he did feel bad for yelling now that he thought about it and he should probably go back and.....no. He needed to pretend it never happened and just forget about Yuuri Katsuki! He didn’t owe anybody anything and he wasn’t gonna start now.


	2. GPF

Yuuri was pacing back and forth in the hotel room he’s sharing with Phichit. Phichit was currently in the bathroom getting ready for the Grand Prix Final banquet, and Yuuri couldn’t have been more happy and more upset about that fact. On the one hand it gave him a little bit of time to try and figure out his thoughts, but on the other hand it meant he had to be getting ready and going to the banquet as well, which only added to his anxiety. What was he going to do?! He was positive that Yuri freaking Plisetsky, the best Juniors skater right now, had seen him with his fingers shoved down his throat, trying to force himself to throw up. He didn’t really think Yuri would tell anyone, even though Yuuri didn’t even know the boy, but he just had a feeling. But then again, anything could happen! It could slip or maybe Yuuri was getting the wrong feeling about Yuri, or-

“Hey Yuuri, you alright?” Phichit, who was somehow now standing right next to him, asked. 

Shocked out of his spiralling thoughts he reminded himself he needed to act fine and just get through this banquet. 

“Yeah, totally fine!” Yuuri said, trying to give a reassuring smile and quickly grabbed his clothes and scurried off to the bathroom for a shower.

He felt the overwhelming urge to lean down over the toilet and stick his fingers down his throat the second he entered the bathroom, knowing it would calm his anxieties for at least a little while, but thought better of it at the last minute. Phichit was right outside in the room and would almost definitely hear him. He could make up an excuse and say he hadn’t been feeling well but he knows that would cause Phichit to feel bad and insist on staying in to keep him company, and he didn’t want to make Phichit miss the banquet as well. 

So, after thinking it through, he resolved himself and stripped out of his clothes for a shower. He purposefully avoided the mirror, knowing his own body tended to make him angry, and went straight for the shower. He could do this! He just had to make it through the banquet and then he was going to go home to Japan. It was long overdue anyway and his skating career was very obviously over, he didn’t need to embarrass himself or his coach any further by trying to continue skating competitively. 

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Yuri looked at himself in the mirror, a dark blue suit, a lighter blue undershirt and white tie. He thought he looked pretty good, and was about to leave for the banquet. His only problem was that he couldn’t get that stupid Yuuri Katsuki out of his head. He had decided to forget about what happened and to forget about Yuuri Katsuki in general, so why was Yuuri the only thing his mind could focus on?! 

He was starting feel a little crazy, well more than normal, by the time he was finally making his way to the banquet. He listened to Victor prattle on about his skating from the competition, his new gold medal, his current outfit and every other thing possible to talk about the whole way there. It was nice at first, as it distracted him from his thoughts about Yuuri, but eventually he started to space out and kept replaying the look on Yuuri’s face when he’d noticed he’d been caught red handed. 

“-and I swear these shoes look perfect with this suit! Oh! We’re here!” He heard Victor say as he ruffled Yuri’s hair and got out of the car. 

Yuri grumbled about his hair getting messed up and how he wasn’t a kid as he made his way out behind Victor. 

The banquet was pretty typical and boring until he spotted the thing plaquing his thoughts, Yuuri Katsuki. Yuuri hadn’t spotted him and he intended to keep it that way. He stayed in the shadows and pretended he didn’t exist for most of the night, until Victor dragged him out onto the dance floor and the thing he’d been avoiding all night happened, Yuuri found him. 

…..Except Yuuri wasn’t exactly in his right mind. He was drunk out of his mind and acting giggly and weird. It made Yuri uncomfortable knowing that Yuuri had been the complete opposite and having a total breakdown earlier just that same day.

“Yurrriiiiiiiii” He heard slurred from a lot closer than he was expecting, which caused him to jump slightly, but he recollected himself immediately and acted normal, “let’ssss….let’s have a dance contest!” 

Well…..he definitely wasn’t expecting that. 

“Fine!” He snapped, not knowing how else to react, “I’ll crush you!” 

XxxxxxxxxxX

Yuri didn’t end up winning, but he suspected it was mostly because Yuuri had started to shed clothes and then Chris came out with a portable stripper pole which he just “happened” to have along. Yuri was almost positive that was a lie, but he wasn’t going to argue with him right now. This ultimately lead to an early end of their competition as Yuuri became transfixed by the idea of dancing on a stripper pole. 

The rest of the night consisted of Yuri and Chris stripping and dancing together, while the majority of the room cheered them on, and then of Yuuri flirting with Victor. Yuri hadn’t actually heard any of their conversation but he could deduce that they were flirting from their facial expressions and body language and the fact that Yuuri was basically rubbing himself on Victor. 

Yuri felt a small pang of….something….when he watched Yuuri with Victor but he didn’t know what it was and he absolutely refused to think about it further. Because he had promised to forget about Yuuri Katsuki so that’s what he would do!

XxxxxxxxxxX

Though forgetting about Yuuri proved harder than he thought, and it probably didn’t help that he had taken photos of Yuuri's little strip tease at the banquet and hadn’t quite gotten himself to delete them yet. They were just really aesthetically pleasing okay! That was the only reason he couldn’t bring himself to delete them...obviously. He definitely wasn't attracted to him! He had thrown that possibility out the window immediately and then told himself to go back to forgetting about Yuuri Katsuki. 

But as he skated he would remember Yuuri’s failed performance at the Grand Prix Final, when he went to the bathroom he would see Yuuri’s terrified face staring up at him, and as he ate he would wonder how Yuuri was feeling. So...forgetting about Yuuri was near impossible and Yuri had no idea what do about it. 

So instead, he was focusing everything he had on skating. He was going to be joining the senior division and he had a lot to prove, to everyone. He needed to work hard to show he deserved to be there and so he wouldn’t disappoint his grandfather. He reminded himself that soon Victor would be choreographing a program for him and that helped him forget about Yuuri a little bit as he would excitedly practice his skating moves, just waiting for the right time to talk to Victor about his new program.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave any critiques/comments as I'm new to writing.  
> Also feel free to leave any suggestions/ideas for what you think should happen in this story.


	3. Victor shows up

At first Yuri wasn’t just angry, he was beyond angry, he was furious. He trashed his room and screamed and screamed until he had heard his grandfather getting home. He couldn’t settle himself down fully though, how could Victor abandon him?! And especially for that pathetic pig! Victor had promised to choreograph his next program and now he was gone without even saying a single word about it to Yuri! He had cursed both Victor and Yuuri in his head at least a thousand times before he had moved on from his anger. 

But after anger all he felt was a crushing sadness. Of course Victor would leave! Yuri knew he was worthless, pathetic, and just a kid. He was nothing compared to Victor. And even if Yuuri wasn’t as great of a skater as Victor either, Yuri remembered their relentless flirting from the banquet and knew that he stood no chance. His own parents hadn’t wanted him, why would Victor give him the time of day? Yuri cried himself to sleep and dreamed of his father’s beatings and his mother’s harsh words and woke up screaming and scraping his nails down his arms, leaving harsh marks behind. It was a good thing his grandfather's room was on a different floor and he was such a deep sleeper. 

Yuri got up and looked at the new marks which added to the other faded scratch marks up and down his arms from previous nightmares and then he stood up and stormed out of his room, ready to face Victor. He had to at least try to get Victor back! He deserved this, he’d tried so hard just to get to this point and it’s all he’s been thinking about for the past few weeks! 

So Yuri resolved his will once again and got on the next flight to Hasetsu in Japan. He was going to get Victor back. 

XxxxxxxxxxX

Yuuri has gained weight since being back at home. Not a ton, but definitely enough to be noticeable. Being at his family home meant that he couldn’t throw up as often as he used to, as the walls here were paper thin, and his binging had only gotten worse with the addition of Katsudon and his overwhelming depression hitting him. He spent most of his days just eating and sleeping, he barely even went to the ice rink anymore. He just didn’t have the motivation. The only time he really went to the rink anymore was once his family would start to notice his reclusive behavior and would say something about it. 

He was just opening the door to go outside and make his way to the ice rink when a dog that looked exactly like his Vicchan came barreling through. He couldn’t believe his eyes, he had missed his dog so much and he regretted it everyday that he hadn’t been here in his dogs final moments. But looking closer….this dog was definitely too big to be his Vicchan. 

“Makkachin……?” Yuuri wondered, and as things started clicking into place he sprinted off to find his family and demand answers. 

“Whose dog is this?!” Yuuri demanded the second he was within hearing range of his family with the maybe Makkachin barreling in behind him. 

“Oh! Doesn’t he look just like our late Vicchan?!” His father gushed, “he came in with a handsome foreign fellow just a little while ago, he’s out in the hot spring right now!” 

Yuuri had to see for himself. Because there was no way Victor would come here. To his families onsen all the way in Japan. But as he ran through the bathing area, almost slipping multiple times, and threw the door open to the onsen his eyes landed right on none other than Victor Nikiforov. 

XxxxxxxxxxX 

Victor had just told him that he wanted to be his coach….his coach! He was getting so excited and felt so happy he completely forgot about everything else. Victor wanted him! He could hardly believe it! 

And then Victors next words broke their way through his euphoric mindset and he automatically brought himself back to reality. 

“Looks like someone needs to lose weight though, little piggy!” Victor had said innocently. And Yuuri knew that he meant nothing insulting by it. He was simply speaking from a coaches stand point. Yuuri knew he couldn’t skate efficiently at this weight, but these rational thoughts weren’t enough to reassure him. 

Yuuri’s smile fell from his face and he looked down at his body. Really looked. He’d been avoiding mirrors and anything else that would show himself for a while now, but now...now he couldn’t avoid it. And wow, he was disgusting. He was absolutely and completely repulsed by his own body. 

Yuuri didn’t know what to do. There was no way Victor actually wanted to coach someone like him. Someone so disgusting, so pathetic, so he ran. He ran until he reached the ice rink, ignoring the look on Victor’s face and his shouts to come back. 

Once he got to the ice rink he pushed the door open, gave a distracted greeting to Yuuko and then ran into the men’s room, locking the door. The first thing he did was check all the stalls, making sure no one was there and then he threw himself to his knees in front of the toilet and threw up until there was tears streaming down his face and his throat was raw and burning. But it wasn’t enough! This wasn’t enough he needed to do more, he needed to-

“Hey Yuuri, you alright? You’ve been in there a while.” He heard Yuuko call to him and he knew he needed to answer quickly or she would start to really worry. 

He through a quick “yep!” out, which sounded grovely and hoarse even to his own ears and then quickly flushed the toilet, rinsed his mouth, and cleaned his face. He would just go and skate right now, try to clear his head so he could think straight. Then he would deal with this whole Victor problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leaves critiques/comments and any suggestions/ideas.


	4. Yuri arrives in Hasetsu

When Yuri arrived in Hasetsu he realized he had no idea where to go from here. He hadn’t planned past the fact that he just needed to get to Victor. He hadn’t realized that even though he knew Victor was in Hasetsu, he had no idea where in Hasetsu. 

But even if he didn’t know where Victor was he wasn’t going to give up! He’d come this far and he wasn’t the type of person who would stop and give up so easily. Yuri knew of Victors fame and fans and figured there had to be some people in the area who knew where Victor was. So he did the only thing he could think of, which was to repeatedly yell Victors name through the streets of Hasetsu. 

“VICT-….” Yuri trailed off as he turned his head and spotted the most spectacular jacket he had ever laid his eyes on. He had to have it! And he had to let everyone else know that he had it, even if it would alert Yakov to his location. 

So with his decision made he purchased the jacket and immediately put it on and took a photo. He grinned at the image of himself and posted it immediately. 

Once he was finished with that he continued on his way and started to get lost in thought. He hadn’t really thought about what he was going to do when he saw Yuuri. The ideal situation would be him running into Victor and convincing him to come back to Russia before he even had the chance to see Yuuri, avoiding him all together. But he knew that was unlikely. It seemed in all the photos Victor has posted Yuuri was either present or he assumed was the photographer and taking into account the flirting he had seen at the banquet he had a feeling wherever he found Victor, he’d also find Yuuri. 

Yuri was still vehemently denying any and all feelings he might have for Yuuri. Just thinking about it would trigger his natural reaction to get angry and then he’d start yelling obscenities and insults at anything and anyone just to try and keep all his carefully constructed walls in place and his innermost feelings locked securely away. 

By the time Yuri came out of his thoughts he realized he had really no idea where he was other than the fact that he was by the sea. So he did the only obvious thing, he went up to the railing of a dock and screamed Victors name as loud as he could. Luckily, the old man nearby happened to actually know something and directed him to the local ice rink which was called ‘Ice Castle.’ Yuri should have known to check the ice rink! He was so stupid! He really needed to get everything back to normal so that he could stop getting so distracted and lost in his head all the time. 

XxxxxxxxxxX 

While Yuri was trying to push his way past paparazzi and crazed fans he spotted Yuuri. Yuuri was out of breath and panting and looked like he just got done running. Yuri could hear him saying something about his weight and that now Victor would let him skate. Yuri didn’t really know why but all of a sudden he was seeing red. He was so angry! He viscously pushed his way through the crowd and planted his foot right into that stupid pigs back. Victor was his! He was supposed to be coaching him! 

Yuri knew he was yelling, but he couldn’t really make out what he himself was saying. He could hear the paparazzi and fans going crazy and could see Yuuri’s dumbfounded look but he just couldn’t think straight. He wasn’t sure why he was so angry, but he was. And he needed to get out of here and calm down or he was never going to get the chance to talk to Victor. 

He spotted a bathroom off to the side and sprinted there, quickly throwing himself inside and sliding down into a sitting position. His hands were balled into tight fists and he felt the stinging of tears in his eyes but he absolutely refused to let them fall. He hadn’t cried since he was young and living with his parents and he wasn’t going to start crying again now, over something he couldn’t even figure out. 

He was just starting to calm himself down by taking some deep breaths when he heard the door to the bathroom open. He had forgotten to lock it! How stupid could he be! He quickly jumped to his feet and was about to try and pretend he was just about to go wash his hands or something when he looked up and realized it was Yuuri walking in and he felt all the fight in him just drain out and he sank back to the floor. 

“Well, looks like we’re prone to meeting during emotional moments in ice rink bathrooms.” Yuri grumbled out as he stared intently at the floor. 

He heard Yuuri laugh awkwardly and looked up to see him glancing around the bathroom nervously and rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Are….are you okay?” Yuuri asked him quietly. 

Yuri felt himself blush and was immediately mortified by his own reaction to a simple question coming from the other man. 

“I’m fine, you stupid fat pig!” Yuri spat out, reverting to his automatic response to anyone trying to connect with him, which was insults in order to push them away. But Yuri immediately regretted his words when he looked up and watched the look in Yuuri’s eyes turn from a nervous shyness to just completely crushed and tears began to well up as he looked down at himself. 

“Right...yeah I’ll just…..I’ll just go.” Yuuri said quietly in a voice that spoke of pain, and then turned around and rushed out the door without looking back. 

Yuri sighed deeply, feeling completely terrible but having no clue what to do about it. He wanted to apologize, tell Yuuri that he thought he was beautiful, even when he weighed more, but he knew he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t risk the chance of getting close to anyone, and leaving things as they were would insure that Yuuri would keep his distance, so he’d just...have to leave it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave critiques/comments and any suggestions/ideas.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave critiques/comments as I have barely ever written fanfiction.


End file.
